[it takes courage to grow up and become who you really are]
on the plaque from bethie =)

janus' grade 8 graduation at montessori... a bunch of grade 8s dressed as if they were there for Miss America... i hardly even remember my grade 8 graduation..they were standing up and thanking their teachers, friends and parents for the support through the years.. in shaping them to be sophisticated young adults (?!)... the principle made a speech that was reallie touching, he refered to a quote by robert frost "Home is the place where, when you have to go there, They have to take you in" .....the older you become, the more you realize that its true... and the principal was saying that their school will always be open to them just like a home, that's exactly wat elementary school is, you grow up with these people and let them shape up who you are.

a few nites ago was my bro's highschool graduation.. held in a banquet hall, with reception and stuff (wat's with all these grads with banquet halls and reception now.. mine was at a church... blah!)There was this quote that the principal mentioned "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure." we may often ask ourselves.. or i do anyways.. who am i to do this, who am i to be useful, to do good, to be talented... to be.. to be... etc etc. in the end i guess it all comes down to self esteem and how much you believe that God made you.. as someone of worth... this message reallie got thru to me this time.. believe in who you could be, with the power you have, over your own choices, your actions... their valedictorian said.. highschool was like a roller coaster ride, u go in head first, going up the hill.. all worriedsick.. then all of a sudden ur coming down and doing the loops before u can stop, its like how they went in highschool.. head first.. and all the decisions have to be done in a rush, through the ups and downs the turns the twists, still hanging on, screaming and constantly moving forward, because there's no time to pause... its just go go and go... but after graduation, when the ride is over, when we feel that we can finally take a rest, or when we give ourselves an excuse to stop and just... run away from everything, and STOP making any more choices, any more bad decisions and just dwell on the platform and be on safe ground... but life is not like that, it will not stop for us because we want to stop... life goes on.. any time u dwell standing around ends up to be time wasted.. and time flies...

graduation.. moving on to the next chapter in life.. experiencing more fear than excitement, facing another unfamiliar and yet a larger world... one more step to the real world... Didnt get much of anything from my own convo, but surely heard some touching speeches from a grade 8 grad and a highschool graduation that i got to attend =) it felt like reliving the stages of my life one step at a time. seeing and feeling what life was back then, the effort i've put in and how far i've came since. it just so happens that all of our graduations are within this period, and the message dawned on me more so now than ever before... that truly, our current ride is over, but a new ride awaits, we cannot stop because we want to, we have the power to make our own decisions.. just gotta remind myself.. your worst enemy is urself, takes a life time of effort to learn and be better at living.

despite all that.. i cant help but just feeling down.. maybe cuz there's work tm. hm.