hm.. its been a bit since i had a chance to come in and vent, many times i'd want to, but in the end, just like all other things, i put it off... it all comes back to this again, how to motivate myself, what i need to do to get ahead, i dont like how things are now, im not competitive, and i'm always told that im not aggressive enough. Trying to be something i'm not is difficult beyond you can imagine, in the end you're doing things you'd rather not get involved in, but maybe this is how things work... in reality, we dont get to choose? we just get swirled in with everything else that's going on? seems like that's the way to go if you want to survive around here, keep moving forward and find out how to climb on top, or if you dont want to move up... how to stay put without having people kick you down. sorry guys, enough randomness...