today while on the subway.. i remembered an advice my friend told me.. there are many ways to love people, and sometimes to love.. even means to keep distance.... true say... if u know the situation will lead to something else... then by all means avoid it.. haha its like if u know ur likely to sin in that situation, then why put urself in it? ... thnx. i couldnt get it then.. but i get it now, i think its for the better, i'd rather be blah now, than for us to be sad later. sometimes i just want to laugh, everything is just one big joke.

at ccc we talked about preparing ourselves for death.. (yes wuss.. i made it.. career center closes at 4pm today... but yesterday closed at 7pm. why.) how can we ever say we're prepared for death? there'll never be a moment when we're just.. ready to go. i definitely need to go to confession first.. haha.. and definitely need to tell my friends and family that i love you! and then i have to go eat mango cheese cake from Maxim and eat chicken wings from maywah and eat... etc. the conclusion from my group was.. we should live each day to the fullest (eat to the max?) live as if its the last day we'll ever be alive! =) i dont know why.. but just typing this out is making me feel better.. its just such a great relief as catholics to know that there will be a better tomorrow.. well if not tomorrow.. a better afterlife than the current hell. oh and auntie vennie told us, there's this site that u can go in and write an email to ur friends and family, and when u die they'll automatically send it off to them... its prettie cool, eh? but .. how do they know.. that u died.. ? haha as she called it.. are they connected to the 'death system'? quite scary.

talked to eddieboo earlier today.. and realize we worry too much, haha despite actually KNOWING that we worry too much, we cant help it but to continue on this way... old people will tell us.. you guys are so dumb, worry so early, reallie no need, years later you'll look back and laugh at ur stupidity... haha.. truly everday is already filled with too many uncertainties, if we worry at this rate, it will just be never ending... worry now, laugh tm. pointless, therefore.. be happy with who you are, with wat you have, dont think urself useless =)
miss my Boos.

i think that by loving... respect naturally follows.. and so it should. and we're called to love. for everything that i dont understand.. i can only trust that God knows best for everything to be... there's reallie no point questioning.. and no point thinking further... i just dont understand.. maybe im too complicated.. or too simple. i just dont want to care. i just want to sleep. it just started snowing outside.. may the nite be calm.. and at peace.

只是我們純真夢中化煙 不快樂 只因充實知識 在成長裡漸變
只盼望一生不用太深 願純真永未變

gap moments

lemme explain my GAP story of the day...
so today while i was walking around.. and just greeting the few customers that we had... there was this little cutie.. probably.. 3 or 4 years old? with a mother.. so while the mother was shopping around.. as sales associates.. we were taught to keep the little kiddies entertain.. convo as follow...

me: hiya there :)
kid: (looks up.. strolling slowly along behind the shopping mother)
me: hiya buddy!
kid: (glare... and *pout*.. sad puppy face)
mother: (turns around to look at us)
kid: (approaches a round table of sweaters... then all of a sudden.. use his tiny fists to pound on all the sweaters around the table one by one... angry-sad face)
me: .....shocked and just staring...
mother: (looks at me as if to explain...) ya, he HATES clothes.

wahahahaha.. i thought it was so hilarious.. the poor kid.. omg. hahaha.. must be a long shopping day.. but it was soooooooooooooo cute tho.. like the incident! hahaha poor angry child..

and yesterday's GAP story....
there was this sweetie pie wearing pink shoes coming into the store.. haha.. cutie girlie...

girlie: *gasp* and pointed.. (realized the mannequin had no feet!)
me: "would u like to give the lady ur prettie pink shoes to match her prettie pink pants?"
girlie: (smile sweetly.. and shook her head.. no.. then she walked away to another mannequin.. a half mannequin)
me: "OH NO! look! this lady has no legs!"
girlie: *gasp.. cover mouth* ran to the shopping mother.. and pointed at the half mannequin and said... "no legs!"
mother: (walks over with shock little girl) then said.. "sweetie, look, it has no head too! ok let's go" and left the store.. and little girl while walking away.. keeps looking back at the headless.. and legless mannequin...

hahahahahaha mothers.. are horrible hahahah it was soooooooooooooooo funny tho.. u've just gotta imagine it..

my boo day.

today was my first day of class.. of the last semester i'll be at ut (hopefully)... wat a crappy system.. rosi.. is still down... my courses still remain unsettle... everything remains unanswered. most of the courses are full now.. haha as clarissa said.. "even Beethoven is full"

very boo.. today got a parking ticket at the unionville GO station.. it reallie sucks.. im totally not guilty.. and i refuse to pay the fine.. i dont mind it.. its just that i think its their responsibility that there isnt enough room for all of us to park... they must have ticketed at least 40 cars today.. i'd understand if it was police enforcement.. but when i looked at the back... we're to make the fine payments at union GO station downtown. my dad just had this huge frown on his face the rest of the nite.. i shouldnt have told him, i had to pay it off myself anyways... im gonna go yell at them even if its useless, even if i have to pay.. just cuz i dont think its fair at all. BOO. its my second ticket within like.. a few months.

been filling in some online applications lately.. not that i ended up completing any... realized i have absolutely no relevant experience.. and not even relevant school courses/projects.. wat have i done.. why didnt i think earlier.. should've volunteered at some investment firm or something.. but do i reallie wanna be working at a bank anyways? not reallie... but then there's nothing i wanna do.. i just know i dont want to sit in an office all day long facing numbers and papers.. and i think that's wat bankers do... no? *headaches*

i admire those people that have ambitions... to have a goal to focus on... true.. i guess im still young i can still pick something i like and continue to educate myself.. but wat to do is the question i dont wanna waste another couple of years and end up making yet another stupid choice. sigh... the world of possibilities. i wish i knew wat i want. hm.. i know i must be here for a purpose..i just need to know.. wat this purpose IS.. as ewwie said.. PUSH

happy for suksuk that ur back in hk and u can finally go after wat u want =) take care! miss my sor por #1000, haha ur pics are crazy! ur truly sor, haha thank goodness ur always online *u make me happy* hm.. and eddieboo's flying to frankfurt tm.. haha so happy and proud of you, all grown up haha makeup and all =P the difference a couple of months can make *beam* happy for u guys..

happy new year =) happy 2006! hehe.. seemed like not too long ago.. when we were worried over the millenium bug.. man.. time flies... boo. 2005's over... been a busy holiday... everything seem to pass in a blur.. i keep forgetting christmas already passed.

havent thought of my new years resolution yet... after tonite, just realized there are definitely people i have to pray for... friends be happy :) and love urself, humans live in such complications, should reallie becareful of wat ur getting urself into.

anyways.. watever it is.. its another new year, im a big girl now =) i've decided.. that this year will be a happy year, i've gotta stay in control and stop my worryings and missings... i'm determined to be happy and successful! im so ready... for a new year.. yet another new beginning.