*beam* such a beautiful saturday =) a very different weekend for me... feels like i can finally have a weekend to myself... i've already been very productive today, hehe drove mom to work (let her yell at me), went to dentist appt, came home and ate lunch with my dad =) heading out soon to town then korean bbq tonite! omg havent had that in AGESSSS! *excited*

i cant believe this past week's.... done ... looking back it wasnt all that bad... *blessed*... its been crazy busy but 3/4 exams are DONE! one more on may 8th. im reallie gonna miss studying with these people.. calling them up in the middle of the nite.. and just whining about not wanting to study, then get rite back to studying =P it feels good to busy with u guys =) ai.. reallie dont know how i could make it thru without my study buds. life as a student is almost over.. one more exam... kinda... sad

so much to do.. so little time.. hehe being at home and doing nothing is such a luxury =) i want to take a looonng nap.. read a book.. clean my room.. msn... watch tv... haha and gonna do some luving... haha luving my bed!

miss jai... 1.5 years but nothing changed.. hehe still mom.. still son
ex.. thnx for reminding me the ultimate goalll....
lucia.. get. a. webcam. now.
*smiles*

panic.
pain.
pray.
peace.
please.

it's finally Easter long weekend.. waited forever for it to come... so much work to do and catch up on this weekend.... i must be productive in what needs to be done. Went to Blessed Trinity church yesterday =) packed for the Good Friday mass, didnt even get near the chapel, but to see everyone, all these other catholics around u patiently sitting, it was an amazing feeling, this is our union with Christ and the Church... i guess that's where faith comes from, from standing together, not seeing but believing. =)

went to watch the passion of the Christ at mark and pp's, scenes and messages became more vivid than the first time i watched it, made me feel more sinful than ever... ai.. Jesus remember me... "love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you, for if you love only those who love you, in what are the rewards?" there was only one simple instruction to follow... to love as i have loved you...

Easter vigil tonite, my all time favourite mass of the year ever since i could remember... haha it was all about the candles, so prettie, love watching candle spread in darkness.. felt especially homey to be at cmc tonite, nice and cozy =) today Fr. Leung said... to live as a catholic, is to constantly die of self and relive in Christ... what Jesus did on the cross, was held his suffering to God, and then relive and continue to pray for those who caused his pain. It doesnt mean that when ur life is perfect, and everything is in order, then you 'have time' and go care for those around you, it should be when others come in your path, that you should put yourself aside and give up your own problems to God, so that with your empty of self, you can fully offer yourself, that you may continue to show your love and spirit to those around you =)

in terms of schoool... its very close to the end now, all the lasts have happened.. the last words, last lecture, last rush to hand in the assignments before 5, last evaluation sheet, the last official school holiday... its gonna be more and more studying from now on... went to study with choboo today... patrick we miss you lots... ai.. i know.. 5 pounds ma.. but the chicken wings are waiting for you. pray for our exams... me and cho just talk all day without u... comeback.

lastly, pray for PEACE... *we're companions on the journey, breaking bread and sharing life, and the love we bear is the hope we share, for we believe in the love of our God, and we believe in the love of our God* ...... God help us live as companions

just realize, hehe, today is 416 =P anywayssss... Happy Easter =)

Lose Weight Like a Guy

full article here!

haha this was the front page story of msnbc today.... just happened to come across it after treating my self to a pickel barrel chocolate cookies with white chocolate chunks. haha also had a small tuna sandwich on top of that.. and had the lunch my mom packed =P haha fully guilty.. but funny read =) here are a few.... facts.. hahaha

Men are bigger losers than women; here's why, and what you can do to use that info to your advantage.

Think the most infuriating thing a guy can say to you is, "Yeah, it does make your butt look big"? Wrong.
The one phrase that can turn any relationship into a nuclear winter is: "I need to drop five pounds—I'll cut out the beer."

Both men and women have cravings, and no, he doesn't have an easier time fighting them off. But your comfort food is likely to be chocolate, pudding, or a cheese Danish, while his is a thick, juicy steak. The advantage of his choice: It's protein, which will help fill him up far better than your coffee cake.

Women are twice as likely as men to binge because they're depressed, reports a 2004 University of Minnesota study that examined the eating behavior of 1,800 people for a year. Women are also twice as likely as men to be depressed, which makes for a lot of eat-a-thons.

"The standard prescription for a guy who's angry is to go out and pound nails, not eat chocolate," says Abramson. Guys are more likely to do something physical to dissipate their negative emotions. Women tend to swallow them—usually with an entire row of Oreo cookies. So when you get mad, get moving.

"When guys go on a diet, they don't give up their Doritos. They're like Condi Rice—they negotiate. 'The big game is coming up. I'll have a third of the Doritos I usually do, but I will have some Doritos and guacamole.'"
We, on the other hand, approach dieting like ascetics, depriving ourselves of all those luscious "forbidden foods" until we can't stand it any longer. Then we fall like starved dogs on year-old Halloween candy stuck to the back of the freezer. In fact, studies by University of Toronto obesity researcher Janet Polivy, Ph.D., found that restrained eaters—that's the average female dieter—are more likely to not only overeat after dieting but also to gorge themselves if they just think they're going to go on a diet. Scientists call it "the last supper effect."

... hehehe... back to work

bittersweet

*PEACE*.. realized how much i missed them =) feels so good to see my brothers and sisters again, even tho it hasnt been the same these days with the lack of attendants, that old familiar feeling returned yesterday, a feeling of love and unity and most importantly, the presence of Jesus among us... PEACE has always been a spiritual home, a shelter and a family =) makes me feel so blessed to have each one of you by my side, all these people that are just so different.. that wouldnt have came together if we didnt have a common purpose... and because of our differences... we've learnt to grow.. and to accept... for PEACE.. *thnx God* hehe

*work* it's 4 weeks now.. it didnt seem like it was that long... weekdays dragged on.. hours at work were long... but time flew by nonetheless... thought i couldnt survive last week of school and work... but all's good now... =) i feel very useless at work.. as i always like to say... i feel like a complete expense to their organization.. and i feel especially bad.. cuz they're non profitable... and the budget they work on to pay our salaries are based on charity... im sorry to everyone who contributed to my salary... ai.. i wish one day.. i can feel good enough to say i am an asset.

*missing* going to work makes me miss going to school even more.... going to school is mandatory... but optional... you skip a lecture or two, you be late a few times, you walk in with meals chewing away listening to the prof blab... drifting off to endless naps... its a luxury to be in school... as crazy as this might sound.. i will reallie miss ut... the 4 years of walking down st. george... my always leaving early from utccc... the run to GO buses... the cursing of profs... the excuse to drink second cup white hot chocolates... the fries with gravy + hotdog... the schoolbus... the icecream truck... the opening of the SS lounge... the assignments 'sharing' sessions... etc etc.... just... *sigh* two more days of classes and lectures.. of st. george.. of SS... of MS... and that's it...

from highschool to university.. i realized that.. trying hard does not always come with desired results.. the amount of time you put into something does not guarentee accomplishing anything... and its true.. that ur never a failure until you give up and you fail to try... its been four years of tough learning... and struggling.. but going to school.. you know what's ahead of you.. the uncertainty is limited.... but going to work is different... as maria said to me.. we all want to be kids forever... play and laugh and do as we wish... to have someone to take care of you.. to be instructed of wat our next step is.. to be reassured.... the real world is all about responsibilities.. all about wat YOU can do... all about the unknown... and meeting expectations.. others expectations for u.. and wat u expect from yourself.. it's a neverending process of discovering.. of trial and error.. if you stay put to think about a direction.. u will never get anywhere without ever taking a first step... there's no time to pause and think and consider... just do it... and for all the many many worries.. and all the times of confusion.... pray... there's a way... now that i look back.. there was always a way =) seems like God's shedding some light in my path... so there WAS a plan... *believe* thank you God for everything and everyone you've put into my life...

And like a newborn baby
Don't be afraid to crawl
And remember when you walk
Sometimes we fall...
...
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus and live

to *me* thanks ... =) and add oil with studying and your papers... we've made it this far...

Untitled Hymn (Come To Jesus) - Chris Rice

Weak and wounded sinner
Lost and left to die
O, raise your head, for love is passing by
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus and live

Now your burden's lifted
And carried far away
And precious blood has washed away the stain, so
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus and live

And like a newborn baby
Don't be afraid to crawl
And remember when you walk
Sometimes we fall...so
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus and live

Sometimes the way is lonely
And steep and filled with pain
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain, then
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus and live

O, and when the love spills over
And music fills the night
And when you can't contain your joy inside, then
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus and live

And with your final heartbeat
Kiss the world goodbye
Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side, and
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus and live